Why do people cheat in a relationship?
I just don’t understand it, maybe I’m just missing something here, but what could that be? An officemate had cheated on her husband, thrice, and I guess is thinking of doing it again. Her reason: she said she thinks that she’s fed up being her husband’s wife and being a mother. I thought to myself, could that be possible? You’re sick and tired of a life you chose for yourself so what, you’d cheat on the person you’ve exchanged vows with? I know I’m not the one who should talk especially since I’m not in her situation, it’s just that… Well, it’s wrong!
Isn’t it?
I don’t think that her reason is just and that is a valid reason enough to fool her own family. I just… I don’t know, I don’t understand why some people do it and do it often. As if they don’t know that it would hurt their partner if he/she learned about his/her infidelity.
Care to tell me why?
I have always wondered that myself actually. I find it wrong… You just can’t cheat and go back to your family like nothing happened. Ive never cheated on anyone so I don’t really know either…
ask the cheater that question and you’ll get different answers.. i guess you won’t know the thinking behind it unless you’ve had it done to you or you’ve done it to someone else.
different things have different meanings to different people, but concubinage means the same on all people. While most people find it hard to accept if they are wrong, they don not do wrong things intentionally . . .but intentionally doing it (cheating on your spouse) knowing beforehand that it is wrong is unacceptable to the laws of God and man.
But who are we to Judge others . . .just keep in mind that she will not win you towards her idea of life/living
when you become confuse specially when its about relationships. its always good to look back at your own.think of your mom or your dad or talk to them. if nothing wrong has happened between them definitely youll find the most convincing answer. ^_^
Lack of Communication is one of the reasons for cheating, when you dont talk to the person lying next to you everyday, dont get complemented, constant fighting & arguing and a nice Gentleman/ Lady comes along with an ear to listen and an eye to see your beauty then one thing leads to another….
Thanks Nhle! That was very enlightening! Come to think about it… What you said do makes a lot of sense
I have been cheated on and it really hurts. I was cheated on a couple of days ago. my heart is broken. I don’t know why he cheated Nhle I talk to him every day and he still gets the nerve to cheat.I do listen to him and what he has to say. Or maybe they cheat because there friends are cheating and they want to try to fit in.Why married couples cheat is beyond me. If you don’t love them any more then why be with them. Why put then through that pain.
their are 2 parts to cheating those who do it knowing that they are cheating and then the other were you dated some one for so long and u go out and it just happends .. the heat of the momment u dont think about the other person.. yea it’s wrong and hurts alot of people but it happends. IM not to sure how it says it in the bible but forgive but dont forget . not every one does it onperpus shit just happends. and if u did get cheated on then the person u were with or whom cheated on u did u a HUGE fav but doing it now and not 2 or 3 or 4 yrs down the road. i wish every one the best. (ps. sorry for spelling)
people shouldnt cheat because its not right.. ur hurting and playin with peoples emotionsl… dat drives them to killin themselves….. so thats my opinion about all this crap… SHIT!!!!!
I have been cheated on by my husband of 14 years. I know its been more than once and it really hurts a lot but when you have children involved its not so easy. I am having to ask myself if I want my kids to grow up without a father. Don’t get me wrong I hate what he is doing but for the sake of my children I choose not to see a lot of things and I think many women out there have the same problem. My advise to women who this has happened to is to start doing things for yourself and put you first because if you are messed up and can’t handle the situation then only you and your children will suffer in the long run. Good luck to all of you.
Nhle - I think you have good points written there.
Sherry - I agree with you. While its hell to be at the receiving end of a cheating person, when there are kids involved, its not as easy to up and leave. Most of the time, people stay not because they are martyrs but because they think about their children first.
Sigh. :(
I have recently been cheated on and I continually ask myself the same question: why did it have to happen at all?
It is hard to pin point a specific answer as to why, but I do know that there are many factors that can allow such a heinous act to occur:
1. Oppurtinuty
2. Actrativeness of the cheater
3. Status of the current relationship
There are many others.
The scariest thing about infidelity is that no matter how good the relationship is, and no matter how much you love each other, ANYONE can still be susceptible to cheating. Its sad, scary, and hard to believe, but I know because it happened to me in a great time of my relationship.
Jim, The more current question is will I be here when it happens again?
I have learnt my lesson
I’m not married but have had affairs with married females i must say i never did any of the running. They all came onto me I’m still not saying this is right, but i do say if a person has an affair behind there partners back then all is not well at home..
Anyway i met a female who had met other men behind my back i thought the world of this person only to get very hurt by her doing this.
We have now split and i must say even though we wasn’t married it hurt and still does. I will never willing go with another married women whether on offer or not as i know how i felt and feel now so i can only see how much it hurt there husbands..
I have learnt my lesson
i don’t know what to think but i cheat on my ex-boyfriend and now i really want him back… i been always looking for a guy like my ex and i just lost him. Do you think that i can ever get him back?
Jim I’m so sorry to hear that, I have to agree with the two of the reasons you just cited but not on the third, which is the status of the relationship, because my one of my friends have been a part of an affair. As far as I know, the guy’s marriage is no where near boring since his legal wife just gave birth to their son just a month before he got my friend pregnant. I guess it also depends on the morals of the person.
And I have to agree with Susan, don’t let it happen again.
Dave: GOOD FOR YOU! You know, I’m a little biased becayse my friends have been cheated on a couple of times already and it’s not because the cheater’s other relationship is bad. I don’t know why, really. I guess they’re tire of being monogamous :/
Stephanie: No offense but you know, you should’ve thought of that first before you cheated on him :( Trust, once it is lost, is very hard to return, you know… The cliche about trust being like a mirror… That’s true.
I don’t understand it either. I have never cheated or been cheated on (that I know of, but i don’t believe i have) yet all of my friends, mostly in happy, long-term relationships have. Why? I don’t get it? Some of them are genuinely happy and want to spend the rest of their life with them. But they go overseas, get drunk and hook up. I don’t even drunk but I assume when you’re drunk you know what you’re doing!
i am having an affiar with my long term boyfriends best mate! i do feel bad but when i think bot it there must be a bigger reason for it but i just can’t think off it! can any1 help me??
me un my boyfriend have been 2getha 4 6 months and at the start of the relationshop he he was lovley,treatd me like a princess but after 3 months he didnt bother with me and he only txted me or rang me when he wantd and always out wid his m8s un when i had a preggy scar he sed he wud finish it if i was!! i fink dat is why i have cheated,HELP!
can some1 give me advise?
(soz bt spelling)
I think that it is possible…i been in a relationship with my husband for 4 years and known him for 9…it just get to a point where u dont want to be with that person any more because of something they did or maybe he/she isnt in love any more
I dated a cheater whom I knew from the start was dishonest and deceptive. There was every sign available to me to get away. The fact is we all know when we can and will be cheated on, the problem is our egos, loneliness and having the guts to get out early. Cheaters though are gutless and selfish people. They can not get deep enought to love and committ and they are usually afraid to be hurt first, so they cheat to feel like they won. I have confronted cheaters and they have no sense of guilt, it is purely low self esteem, low self worth and lack of family values. They can justify it any time. Don’t feel bad-those who have been cheated on-it is not your fault. You picked a bad one because you thought they would not do it to you because you know you are a good person. But, not everyone appreciates a good person-that is the lesson.
MY ex and I were with each other for a year. I was lucky and found the one girl that actually cheated right in front of me, I just loved her too much to really say something. after about the 8th month the distancing started, mind you she was pregnant. she tells me it was mine but i have trouble believing that, still to this day. I was so distrought, when i found out she had had a miscarrage, she didnt even call me to let me know that she had lost the baby. i was so pissed i went and told her whole family what she had done to me WHILE she was pregnant. The worst of it is that the guy she was cheating on me with was starting to be a good friend of mine. So instead of thinking about killing myself, i thought about killing him. Then later a friend informed me that would not be a good idea. I forgave her and we are trying to work things out. The truth is some people cheat to avoid being hurt by there other. sometimes they have no choice. my greatest regret is not paying attention to what i was doing to her.