On Stability and Commitment
February, thanks to the consumerist day that is Valentines, makes one think about relationship and, of course, love and everything connected to it like commitment and such. What’s with Valentine’s Day anyway? It’s just a day where the chocolate manufacturers and holiday card makers look forward to right? So I don’t have a date, what’s wrong with that? Nah… I’m not bitter (yet LOL).
When I went into a relationship, I knew that the next step would be marriage, I can see some men cringe at the thought, but yes, that’s where all relationship should eventually end up, right? So, as a woman, is it really bad/hard to expect men to be good providers, emotionally stable and mentally prepared for a long-term commitment?
Expectations, for me is one of the reasons why most relationship fail unlike friendship which (almost) never ends. As a friend, all you expect your friend to do is stand by your side, say “Yes, he is the worst man alive!
” when you’ve been hurt and crying your heart out, etc., etc. But in a relationship, you are being given the “right
” to demand, to expect, to be hurt which we tend to overdo sometimes.
We are given a set of expectations which in our own mind must be met, only to be crushed after some time because we realized that we lost those expectations. I have to admit that I’m hard to please, I want a man who is almost non-existent or if he is still there somewhere then he is committed, either to a woman or a man, or perhaps he still couldn’t figure out that he was the man I’ve been looking for because he was busy ogling other men’s body. :P
Well, yeah, I am a cynic, let’s face it, this is life. Not all men who were born with “it
” remains men the rest of their lives, some become homosexual, metrosexual and some become women… Who’s sexier and prettier than me, argh!
Ever since, I knew that when the big “M
” (for Marriage) comes, I would have to, in some way, sacrifice my career for family. It’s not because that is what I’m supposed to do but because it’s something I know I want to, for some odd reason. So is it really a bad move for a woman to expect her boyfriend to have a stable job and be stable financially? Does it really mean that to her, “money talks
”?
Women should never rely on any man to give her her life and to give her needs, and wants but women should also never work for any man’s keeps. Am I right or am I just being so oldie, idealist, naive and whatever?
Hey Mae! I don’t think you’re being cynical, you’re just being…practical. There, that’s the word. :) It’s like one of my favorite songs: If you’re gonna call it love, then let it be forever. As women, we have the right to choose the “stable” men, it’s not just about the money, it’s about the future. It’s not about being materialistic or being unromantic about not believing that “love will keep you alive,” it’s just about being realistic. Ideally when you give your “I Love You” to a guy, it’s supposed to be forever. I mean, that’s where all relationships should go to…
…and that is probably why I am still single. :P Hahaha. =))
But I agree with what you said. For a man to be worthy of a woman’s love, he should be able to prove himself in all aspects. My two cents. ;)
Not all men who were born with it remains men the rest of their lives, some become homosexual, metrosexual and some become women… Who’s sexier and prettier than me, argh!
Haha, I agree! Sad, ano? Hay. I’ve met so many gays who may have what a girl is looking for…only he doesn’t like girls. Hay. :P
One shouldn’t completely rely on “anyone” to give them everything… it’s unfair to lay that much expectation on anyone.
Anyway, you can always do what I do to drown out my single-minded misery… Eat lots of chocolate. The opiate high. LOL.
@Tina: Practical and realiztic… I believe that’s how women should be these days, and men as well of course right? :)
@fruity: well…it’s not like we are supposed to depend on them for anything… It’s just that we would want to be sure that well… We will not earn for their keeps… :)
I beg to differ on that one. :)
You’re not being cynical. Okay, scratch that. You are. We’re all cynics one way or another anyway, boo us. So what? :D
Not all men who were born with “it” are men. Period. Some are a bunch of sissies who don’t know how to take care of themselves, be responsible, have a life.
True. If ever I get married, I wouldn’t want to stop working. It’s different if women have their “own” money so they don’t have to depend on their husbands all the time. Tsaka, haller, pano kung malaki na sweldo mo da ba, sayang naman ang trabaho, hahaha! Or, maging problogger nlng, kumita sa adsense, ayus din yun. hehehe!
No, it’s not bad. It’s but natural for women to make sure men are able to provide them security (financial or otherwise, LOL), because that’s how things are supposed to be — husbands providing (bountifully) for their wives. But going back to my first point, tama lng na dalawa sila magtrabaho, hekhek!
I’m a contemporary woman. LOL.
it’s just so sad because that’s-how-things-are-supposed-to-be is no longer valid nowadays…modern na tayong mga babae ngayon! ok lang yan, no rush…enjoy the single life, bili muna ng maraming damit, shoes,…hehe.