On Success, Career and Growth
While the girls talked about money matters, how much you’re saving and how to save money every payday, here I am thinking about success, career and growth. (For some strange reason, I think that this post complements theirs, whatever) Thanks to the man who makes me think of stuff that I have never thought of before (well, I think about them a lot but I always brush them aside) — What is success? What is my goal? Am I willing to sacrifice what I am doing and subject myself to other people’s “ridicule” because I will then be branded as “walang utang na loob” and a self-centered biatch just to follow my heart’s desires?
The guy opened my eyes to a lot of stuff that it somewhat pains me just thinking about it because I know that I have to be totally honest with my answers, and the truth is… I really don’t have everything planned out.
Below are excerpts of our conversation that night (that’s not our exact words, but you’ll get the idea):
I was laughing at my end then because how can one question get so complicated and how come I don’t know the answer?! It’s midnight and I get this kind of exchange of thoughts that will give me sleepless nights ahead. Seriously though, I’m clueless, not to what he was saying but on how to execute what he was telling me.
When I started out, I was so idealistic, I had everything planned out and I was very certain that whatever it is that I want, I’ll be able to get. But reality has a way of creeping up on you and turning you into the opposite of who you were when you started.
Sometimes, I think that I’m a smart, brilliant girl, but these types of conversations lead me to accept the fact that I’m not as smart nor as brilliant (nor am I a girl anymore) as I thought. That I’m still too young to know the things that I ought to know, that even though I tell myself that I’m very serious with what I want in my life and with what I’m doing right now — I’m still immature and childish in a lot of aspect.
Right now, I can’t take my mind off what he said (I know he said that I shouldn’t take it seriously but I just can’t help it) “Are you willing to do everything in your power to show just how great Paulinos can be? Make the right connections etc?
”
I’m willing. But can I?
There are so many fears inside me that I don’t know how to face. I know them, but even though I do, I still couldn’t take them away. They said that one should face their fears, but how?
Do you have the answers?
I always have the same fears. It’s easy to find a career but success and growth? I dont know.
I have my own answer to that pero spiritual kse haha so wag na. :D
Ei Mae, aren’t you like 21 (or is it 22?) pa lang? naku bata ka pa, next time ka na magisip ng tungkol sa mga ganyan. :P
Man’s goal: to get his desires. :P And I’ll stop there because it’s spiritual na rin, like Joni, but if you ask, I shall share. :)
Anyway, these kinds of things show that we’re really growing up. And it’s not really a fun ride. :P But, I agree with what Joni said din…you’re still young, we’re still young and the whole world is waiting for us to conquer it. Seriously. :D I know it feels like there’s no more time but really, there is. Not as much as before, but there is enough time. But I think getting the feeling of wanting to do more is a sign that we should start doing more. Gets ba? Like getting out of our comfort zones, and actually pursuing something that our hearts want to do. :) Think of it as a wake up call. Haha got that before I changed jobs. :P
Liz: oh well.. hehe
Joni: yep 21 (oh nooo di na ba ko mukhang mas bata dun? hehe :P)
Tina: Sure, sure! Please do share :) I guess it is, I’ve always been afraid, maybe I should be afraid less no? Thanks!
Haha okay, here’s what I think. The goal of man is to get his desires. These desires are not the shallow kind, but the one deep in his heart. Now, in the spiritual sense, God’s will for man is for him to fulfill his deepest desires. So man’s (deepest) desires = God’s will for man, which ultimately, is man’s goal. Gets ba? That’s in my opinion and what I believe in, and I know not everyone will agree, so don’t bite my head please. :)
I read this quote in one of my friend’s LJ: “Do it trembling if you must, but do it!” -Emmet Fox. Okay lang matakot, it’s part of it, but you still have the power to do something. :P
Haha okay, tama na. I might end up writing a self-help book sa comments mo =)) Kaya mo yan, Mae!
And who is this guy? (LOL. Yun yung inisip eh ahha.)
Gusto ko sanang makisali sa mga trackbacks nyo pero naisip ko.. my post would probably start with..
“While the girls are talking about money matters, and savings, and career, and the future, I, on the other hand, can’t wait for the next payday to buy that really nice hotpink wedged sandals at Schu.”
haha kamusta naman. Wala akong future. :(
LOL.
Tina: ahh hehehe I don’t know what my desires are yet either :P
Riz: haha just a friend :) si the Riz walang future?! Hello kamusta naman ako diba? hehe
oo nga.your still young mea. as you grow old you’ll figure out and realize things that will help you make your decisions. pag tumatanda mas lumalawak ang pang unawa at pag iisip sa mag bagay bagay. :) pro ang maganda e kahit bata ka pa ng plan ka na sa future mo and you are willing to do things to get there. :) one step at a time. dont rush. hehehe
@cathy: ui long time no visit ah! :D yeah, one step, one step… hehehe i hate being so impatient :P
hmmm… i think leaving a legacy is man’s goal. be it a family, an artwork… something that will somehow engrave his name on the stone so that people will remember. because you can be dead without being forgotten but you cease to exist when you are forgotten.
haha. la lang… unang dalaw. :)