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What the hell am I doing here? As if I need another haircut! Didn’t I just had my hair cut last month?! It’s not even past my shoulder yet!

Why, oh why do I always think that having a haircut can boost my confidence and why do I always forget the fact that my hair will only look good short while I’m in the salon and by the time I go out there, it’d be going at every which way except curving towards my face?!

Oh yeah, my hair’s too long at the front, I need the bangs because I’m getting annoyed whenever it gets in the way of my reading and/or working.

Ate, that hair isn’t supposed to be on that side.

“Bumabalik sa kabila” (It keeps on going the other way), the hairdresser said while laughing weakly. I’ve never been the best conversationalist — how do you make small talk with hairdressers? — so I just smiled meekly and said, “Oo nga eh”.

It’s because it’s supposed to be there. Oh well, whatever suits you, as if I’m an expert when it comes to hair, if I could have my way, I’d chop the darn thing off and just buy a wig instead. Actually, I’ve been mulling the idea for quite some time now and it doesn’t sound so bad. Only, I have to take care of it. I suck at taking care of things, if someone would give me a hamster, after the initial “Oh, it’s so cute, I’m going to take a very good care of it!” promise, I’d forget it’s even there.

Ha-ha I’m so witty, I think I should write a novel. How do I start? I should draw from my experiences. Experiences, experiences. Right, I live a dull life. Fine, they said authors write about other people’s experiences. Other people’s experiences. Think, think, dammit.

Sheesh, their lives are all the same, they fall in and out of love. 9/10 women I know are and/or have been involved with men who doesn’t know what fidelity means. Not to mention that I haven’t been in contact with any of my friends except for the usual kamustahan through text for… what the hell, has it been more than 2 months already?! *sigh* I should be more attentive –

Darn, my face looks fat! I knew I should stop binge eating and I should really start exercising again. Oh man, it’s so tiring, but I swear I’ll start tomorrow. Bah! Forget that I swore to myself that I’ll start living healthy a few weeks ago. I’ll really stick to it this time.

I swear. Tomorrow. I’ll start.

I hope.

Shoot, is my nose always this large? I thought Asians aren’t supposed to have freckles? Oh, it’s just hair.

I hate mall-wide sales. People are always crowding in malls, it’s suffocating, it makes me want to just buy the things my mother asked me and go home straight.

Is it just me or whenever there’s a sale, it seems as if everyone’s in a frenzy and it makes me feel as if I have to buy something. Anything. Just so I could justify that I was able to “save money”. As if.

I wonder, is everyone’s life really fast-paced these days? I wonder how many emails I got. I should really unwind sometime, I wonder if I could go to Baguio or Boracay, maybe Puerto. I wonder if I could really relax though, I noticed recently that I can’t slow down anymore. I wonder if this is some kind of a disease, that’s it, I’m paranoid. Stop it.

I wonder if I should buy a hair dryer, not that I’d know how to use it properly. Or that I’ll ever be bothered to use it after a week of my buying it.

Why is she patting my hair as if she’s expecting me to position my face at an angle, smile widely and say “OMG IS THAT ME?! I ABSOLUTELY LOOK FAB! I ALMOST COULDN’T RECOGNIZE MYSELF!” when all I could see is me. With a shorter hair. And bangs that is still a little too long for me. Whatever, it’s fine, it’s fine.

When I walked out of the salon, I looked at my reflection as I passed by a store and a single thought came across me before I decided to stop looking at my reflection and get on with my tasks.

“Shit. My bangs looks like Sailor Moon’s. Why did I cut my hair again?”

After the outburst last week, I’ve settled down and decided to just stop for a while and finish the things I need to (as if there’ll ever be an end to it) and tread to wherever I want to be at a slower pace. Anyway, I just want to share and thanks to all who replied! I really appreciated it. :)